all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
