My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just had sex bonerless
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
