I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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