I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
