we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
