I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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