ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
