I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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