i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
