It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
