he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
