There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
