we're blogging at a bar
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
