dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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