these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
