am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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