Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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