when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
