If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
