She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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