it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
