i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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