a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
