Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
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i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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