i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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