I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
