i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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