I want to make a zoo with you.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
