Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
