You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
