If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i barfeds in our rink
i was born a porn star she said
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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