Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
