Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
