I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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