i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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