Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
