my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
