I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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