Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
