nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
