I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
love makes seman taste better
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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