2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
