I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
