dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
