do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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