I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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