You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
