dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
