then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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