i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
