He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
