addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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