Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
