I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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