As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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