if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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