The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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