i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
