Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
