im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
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She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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