Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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