I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
