he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
